STORY: "When Strikes A Gladiator!" (22 pages)
Credits: Scott Lobdell (writer), Joe Madureira (penciller), Tim Townsend (inker), Richard Starkings, Comicraft (letterers), Steve Buccellato (colourist), Mark Powers (associate editor), Bob Harras (editor, editor-in-chief)

The X-Men are doing their Christmas shopping in New York when Gladiator enlists their aid on behalf of the Shi'ar Empire. He teleports the Beast, Rogue, Gambit, Joseph, Bishop and Trish Tilby away.

What you need to know:

• Gladiator enlists the X-Men's help in this story because the Imperial Guard have been sent to Earth on another mission. That story appears in the Imperial Guard miniseries, which I read the first issue of and dropped like a stone. If anybody knows what the plot was, do let me know.
• Magneto unveils the machine he'd been working on in recent issues of X-Men, which turns out to be a device that shuts down Rogue's powers. And is it ever mentioned again? Of course not.
• Sam suddenly and handily develops the power to absorb impacts and use them to fuel his force field. Again, never referred to again.
• Chronological problem. It's Christmas Eve in New York, and Sam's buying Christmas presents for his family in Kentucky? Uh?
• The Punisher can be seen, very briefly, in page 4 panel 2. And for the benefit of anyone really slow, that's editor Bob Harras on page 9.

Comments: We're now into the last year of Scott Lobdell's run, and a lot of this stuff frankly isn't very good. This begins a five part Shi'ar storyline, and I've never really liked it when the X-Men do outer space stories. It just doesn't strike me as being what the X-Men are about. Still, here we are.

This issue is largely given over to a totally gratuitous fight scene between Cannonball and Gladiator. On the plus side, it does allow Cannonball to look competent for a change. On the minus side, it's totally stupid. If Gladiator just wants to talk, why does he charge in and attack in the first place? This sort of pointlessness only gets worse next issue. Still, the Christmas stuff is fun, if a little schmaltzy, and Madureira produces some excellent artwork. The scene where Joseph kisses Rogue on the forehead after finally shutting down her powers is particularly good.

Feature characters: The Beast, Rogue, Gambit, Cannonball II, Joseph (all last in X-Men '97); Bishop (last in Marvel Holiday Special 1996/5)

Supporting character: Trish Tilby (last in X-Men Vol 2 #58)

Villain: Gladiator II (between pages of Imperial Guard #1)

Guest appearance: The Punisher (last in Punisher Vol 3 #18; next in Heroes For Hire #8)

STORY: "--Did I Miss Something?!" (23 pages)
Credits: Scott Lobdell (writer), Joe Madureira (penciller), Tim Townsend (inker), Richard Starkings, Comicraft (letterers), Steve Buccellato (colourist), Mark Powers (associate editor), Bob Harras (editor, editor-in-chief)

The X-Men are taken to the Shi'ar galaxy and discover a space station where everyone aboard has been killed. Oh, except Deathbird. Everyone but her, then.

What you need to know:

• The X-Men all get different costumes for the duration of this storyline. I understand the action figure people are still peddling these unmissably important ten issue variants. That's about as exciting as this issue gets. See why I love this storyline so much?

Comments: One of the rules of the Dogme 95 manifesto for filmmakers is no gratuitous action. This is a great example of what they're talking about. Why are the X-Men dumped on an uncontrollable spaceship? Why does it insist on driving headlong through a sodding asteroid field? Why, in short, couldn't Gladiator give them a decent craft that would do as it was told? Because then there wouldn't be any action, so once again Gladiator gets to act like a cretin and give them some piece of crap spaceship that allows for more action. It doesn't work.

As if that wasn't bad enough, we have a computer telling us unambiguously that there aren't any life signs aboard the space station. Strangely, nobody seems to wonder why it didn't pick up Deathbird, who turns up a few pages later. You can't help thinking Lobdell wasn't thinking this stuff through very carefully.

And that's it, really. More set-up, not much of interest.

Feature characters: The Beast, Rogue, Joseph, Gambit, Bishop; Cannonball II (next in Wolverine #111, then in Annual '97); Cyclops, Phoenix III (both last in Marvel Holiday Special 1996/5; both next in X-Man #25, then Phoenix in Wolverine #112-114, then in Cable #43, then both in Cable #44, then in Annual '97); Storm (last in Marvel Holiday Special 1996/5; next in Wolverine #113-114, then in Cable #42, then in Annual '97); Wolverine (last in Marvel: Shadows And Light #1; next in Ballistic/Wolverine, then in Wolverine/Witchblade, then in other Top Cow crossovers, then in Incredible Hulk #454-455, then in Wolverine #111-114, then in Psylocke And Archangel: Crimson Dawn #1, then in Elektra #10, then in X-Men Vol 2 #62-65, then in Wolverine #115, then in X-Men Vol 2 #66, then in Wolverine #115-118, then in X-Men Vol 2 #70, then in Maverick #4, then in X-Men Vol 2 #71, then in issue #352)

Supporting characters: Trish Tilby; Deathbird (last in X-Men Unlimited #13)

Villains: The Phalanx (b/s; last in Cable #16)

STORY: "Where No X-Man Has Gone Before!" (22 pages)
Credits: Scott Lobdell (writer), Joe Madureira (penciller), Tim Townsend (inker), Richard Starkings, Kolja Fuchs, Comicraft (letterers), Steve Buccellato (colourist), Mark Powers (associate editor), Bob Harras (editor, editor-in-chief)

The X-Men team up with Deathbird to escape the Phalanx, who were responsible for the massacre. They make their way to one of her safehouses and then teleport to the Shi'ar Throneworld to fight the main army.

What you need to know:

• This issue sees the character design for the Phalanx being given a total overhaul. The Phalanx Covenant storyline was generally considered to have been rather unsuccessful, and this story marks a second attempt at getting it right. Unfortunately, it just confused matters, since everyone had previously assumed that the Phalanx were the same race as Warlock and Magus (the Technarch). Since the Phalanx as seen in this issue look nothing like them and dismiss the Earth Phalanx as "transient unit", the effect was to throw Phalanx continuity into a state of chaos that the Warlock series has only just begun to dig it out of.
• Meanwhile, back on Earth, we're reminded that Bastion has captured Jubilee in Generation X 25.

Comments: Somebody wake me when this storyline is over? This is moving at a snail's pace, and it's not like there's that much material to stretch out. The new design of the Phalanx isn't that great even allowing for the continuity problems - if they're supposed to be a collective consciousness, how come they now have individual names, for example? They come across as a lot less powerful than they were before, overall. This is probably deliberate, since one of the problems with them was the contrived ways in which the X-Men had to defeat them before. But it makes it hard to believe that these people are the real Phalanx and the much more powerful versions were just some kind of agents. Besides, the Phalanx have no real motivation for anything they do in this story, so who cares what they do anyway? And god, those speech patterns are annoying.

Lobdell is also making a pretty heavy handed bid throughout this storyline to rehabilitate Deathbird and turn her into a sympathetic character. This is presumably being done with a view to setting her up as a love interest for Bishop, as seen in subsequent issues. In principle, humanising an evil thug like Deathbird is always a good move, but Lobdell's overdoing it here.

Feature characters: The Beast, Gambit, Rogue, Joseph, Bishop

Supporting characters: Deathbird, Trish Tilby

Villains: The Phalanx; Operation: Zero Tolerance (last in X-Factor #135; next in Generation X #26); Bastion (between Generation X #25-26); Harper (between Cable #40 and Wolverine #117)

Guest appearance: Jubilee (between Generation X #25-26)

STORY: "Casualties Of War" (23 pages)
Credits: Scott Lobdell (writer), Melvin Rubi (penciller), Joe Weems, Scott Hanna, Mario Alquiza, Harry Candelario, Tim Townsend (inkers), Richard Starkings, Comicraft (letterers), Steve Buccellato (colourist), Mark Powers (associate editor), Bob Harras (editor, editor-in-chief)

The X-Men go to the Shi'ar Throneworld and defeat the Phalanx, stopping them from killing a generation of Shi'ar children.

What you need to know:

• We're shown for the first time a Shi'ar collective womb where Shi'ar eggs are incubated. Deathbird makes a nice little speech about this being the one aspect of Shi'ar society with no class elements, making this easily the best idea in the entire storyline.
• Joseph is understandably drawing parallels between the Phalanx's massacre of the Shi'ar, and Magneto's experiences in the Holocaust. Of course, since we're told a few months later that Joseph isn't Magneto after all, it kind of makes a nonsense of the whole thing. Anyhow, Gambit starts worrying whether exposure to all this is going to bring back the real Magneto personality, which is certainly an interesting idea but doesn't really go anywhere.
• Bishop and Deathbird are paired up throughout the issue in order to build up their romance.
• In foreshadowing for the Operation: Zero Tolerance plot (in X-Men), Robert Kelly and Henry Peter Gyrich discuss their concerns about the whole project. They'll ultimately be responsible for the political manouevring that leads to OZT being shut down, although in a storytelling masterstroke, we don't get to see any of it.

Comments: Thank god that's over. Not that it's particularly worth the effort - all that, just for the Beast to blast the Phalanx into oblivion with a jury-rigged weapon? We're expected to believe that a race who defeated what's supposed to be the most heavily armed interstellar army in the Marvel Universe can be knocked off that easily? Load of nonsense.

The clunky rehabilitation of Deathbird continues, and once again Lobdell oversells it wildly, attempting to portray her as simply a political rebel rather than the vicious bastard she was clearly written as in previous stories. The stuff with Joseph and Gambit is rather more interesting, though, and at least livens up a dull story a little bit.

Feature characters: The Beast, Rogue, Gambit, Bishop, Joseph

Supporting characters: Deathbird, Trish Tilby; Lilandra Neramani (last in Imperial Guard #1); Robert Kelly (between X-Factor #123 and X-Men Vol 2 #68)

Villains: The Phalanx (next in Warlock Vol 4 #7); Operation: Zero Tolerance (between Generation X #27 and X-Men Vol 2 #64)

Guest appearance: Henry Peter Gyrich (last in ...; next in X-Men Vol 2 #65)

Other characters: The Shi'ar (last in ...)

STORY: "Moving On", Chapter 1 and 2 (25 pages)
Credits: Scott Lobdell (plotter), Ben Raab (scripter), Joe Madureira, Melvin Rubi (pencillers), Tim Townsend, Juan Vlasco, Harry Candelario (inkers), Richard Starkings, Kolja Fuchs, Comicraft (letterers), Steve Buccellato (colourist), Mark Powers (associate editor), Bob Harras (editor, editor-in-chief)

The X-Men are returning home to Earth but get derailed by a mysterious alien ship.

What you need to know:

• It's the first appearance of Maggott, who's looking for Magneto (for reasons eventually explained in his origin story in X-Men Vol 2 #76). At this point, he's just a large blue man with slugs on his shoulders. Joe Kelly has claimed that when he inherited the character, there was no detailed plan in place beyond that.
• For reasons never explained, Sister Maria is attacked by what looks to be a cyborg ape hunting for Magneto.
• The Shi'ar throw parties when they're in mourning. Just thought you'd like to know. Incidentally, Babylon 5's very similar Centauri race do the same thing, but I don't know which series did the idea first.
• Joseph and Gambit both angst suitably over the massacre of the Shi'ar. In Joseph's case it's because of his (or rather, Magneto's) holocaust memories. In Gambit's case, it's foreshadowing of his involvement with Mr Sinister, as finally explained in issue #350. The foreshadowing is less than subtle. "The unholy alliance he once struck with one of his friends' most sinister foes" - why, who could it possibly be?
• Deathbird is assigned to accompany the X-Men home. Obviously Lilandra has a very strange idea of how to make the X-Men feel comfortable. Following this issue, she and Bishop are separated from the others, as picked up on in issue #348. This issue is effectively Bishop's last as a member of the X-Men.
• More hinting at romance between Bishop and Deathbird, again without much subtlety. (The words "slip into something a bit more comfortable" are used.)
• According to the Shi'ar Chapterhouse (a book of some sort), Deathbird's real name has been banished from the Shi'ar language in punishment for her crimes. Deathbird, however, claims that these stories have been told since she was a child, and seems to be suggesting that she was the victim of some kind of prophecy that she would turn out to be evil, making her a pariah as a result.
• The purpose of the larger ship which attacks the X-Men towards the end of the issue remains unrevealed.

Comments: We're now into the tail end of the Scott Lobdell issues, and a lot of this stuff is simply dumped after he leaves the title. There are a few interesting ideas in here, such as Deathbird having turned out the way she is because of a literally self-fulfilling prophecy, but for the most part this is unimportant stuff.

If this issue is significant at all, it's for having the first appearance of Maggott. Maggott's power, control of two giant slugs that eat things, was widely regarded by many readers as extremely silly; a later revelation that the slugs actually were his digestive system, intended to make us feel a bit more sorry for him, didn't entirely work. At this stage, he's a rather generic mystery figure. He won't get all that interesting for a while, when Joe Kelly gets his hands on him.

Feature characters: Gambit; the Beast, Rogue, Joseph (all three next in issue #347); Bishop (next in issue #348)

Supporting characters: Trish Tilby (next in issue #347); Lilandra Neramani (next in Galactus The Devourer #5); Deathbird (next in issue #348); Sister Maria de la Joya (surname revealed; between issues #327 and #368); Maggott, Eeny, Meany (first appearance of all; all last in X-Men Vol 2 #76 f/b; all next in issue #347)

Villain: An unnamed armoured man

Other characters: The Shi'ar (next in Galactus The Devourer #5)

STORY: "Rifts" (39 pages)
Credits: Jorge Gonzalez (writer), Duncan Rouleau (penciller), Troy Hubbs (inker), Comicraft (letterers), Glynis Oliver (colourist), Kelly Corvese (editor), Bob Harras (editor-in-chief)

The X-Men and the Brotherhood form a reluctant alliance to help protect Gene Nation from the Friends of Humanity.

What you need to know:

• This issue features the other X-Men who were left behind on Earth during the Shi'ar storyline and who were appearing in the X-Men title at the same time. Which, of course, is why they're in the Uncanny X-Men annual...
• The ending of the Storm miniseries is subtly but wisely retconned. At the end of that miniseries (still arguably the worst thing Warren Ellis has ever put his name to), Storm brought Gene Nation (formerly the Morlocks) back from the other dimension where Mikhail Rasputin had trapped them, and announced her intention to pack them off to live the African village from issue #198 ("Lifedeath II"). Now, since the whole point of Lifedeath II was that the village couldn't sustain any more people and somebody had to die for every new person born, sending Gene Nation there would be an act not just of monumental idiocy but also of mass murder. This issue maintains the idea of packing Gene Nation off to Africa but instead sets them up in their own completely new village in Sudan.
• Slightly less subtle retconning - apparently, we're now to take it that Havok was insane in issue #339 (the one where he threw Cyclops out of an aeroplane), but he's better now. This is making the best of a bad job.
• Gene Nation dump Storm as their leader. Quite right too, she's done absolutely nothing for them other than show up late a few times and tend to the wounded when they've been being massacred. A new character called D'Gard takes over.

Comments: Ah, now this is a minor gem. Especially when you consider it has to deal with both Gene Nation and the Brotherhood, plots which generated almost nothing of value elsewhere. The writer responsible is Jorge Gonzalez, better known (slightly) as the writer of Maverick.

The plot couldn't be simpler - Gene Nation are being attacked, and the X-Men and their rivals the Brotherhood squabble while rescuing them. But Gonzalez gets an enormous amount of material out of this seemingly basic plot. You've got the Brotherhood, being written sanely for once, representing a more radical and aggressive (but not villainous) alternative to the X-Men's pacifism, providing a proper counterpoint to the heroes. You've got the arguments between the brothers Cyclops and Havok to personalise it. Storm's nominal status as leader of Gene Nation gives more depth to the X-Men's involvement in the plot, and the Dark Beast's relationship as the creator of Gene Nation (of sorts) is used to give his involvement a bit of context. Gonzalez also creates a few new characters to act as mouthpieces for Gene Nation and the Friends of Humanity, with reasonable success. For once, all of the potential in these relationships is actually thought through properly.

Art comes from Duncan Rouleau, who you either love or hate. Personally, I adore his heavily distorted style, and although some of his higher profile work has been marred by excessively odd storytelling devices, this issue reads pretty clearly from start to finish. This issue has pretty much been forgotten by posterity, but it remains one of my pet favourites.

Feature characters: Cyclops, Phoenix III (both last in Cable #44), Storm (last in Cable #42), Cannonball II (last in Wolverine #111; all next in Incredible Hulk Vol 2 #455, then Cyclops in Cable #46 f/b, then all in X-Men Vol 2 #62-64, then Cyclops voice only in Generation X #28/2, then all in Wolverine #115 pages 1-7, then in X-Men Vol 2 #65, then in Wolverine #115 page 8 to #118, then in issue #350)

Guest stars: Gene Nation (last in Storm #4; no further appearances); Boost, Tether, D'Gard (first and only appearance for all three); Havok, Fatale, the Dark Beast (as the Brotherhood; all between X-Factor #133 and X-Man #26)

Villains: Humanity's Last Stand (last in Punisher Vol 3 #18; no further appearances)