STORY: "Underbelly" (23 pages)
Credits: Scott Lobdell (writer), Tom Raney (penciller), Hilary Barta (inker), Lois Buhalis (letterer), Joe Rosas (colourist), Bob Harras (editor), Tom DeFalco (editor-in-chief)

Callisto is beaten up by angry Morlocks, and the Healer takes her to the X-Men's Mansion. The X-Men go into the Morlock tunnels to find out what is going on with the Morlocks, and find the Morlocks killing each other. Back at the mansion, the Healer kills himself by using his powers to heal Callisto, restoring her scars in the process. Iceman, the only X-Man still at the mansion, tries to stop her leaving, but gets beaten up by her and Mikhail Rasputin.

What you need to know:

• Callisto is restored to her original appearance - she'd been made "beautiful" by Masque shortly before issue #260, although the editorial office really endeared itself to longtime fans by admitting in a footnote that they couldn't remember quite when it had happened.
• The Healer dies, which I'm sure is of enormous concern to those of you who like bit part characters with beards. And if anybody wants to explain quite why the Healer's healing powers restore Callisto's scar tissue, I'd love to know.
• The Morlocks have all gone mad. They stay that way.
• There's a notoriously baffling subplot in which a blond man recovers another blond man from a mental institution. What's actually happening is that the sane one is an agent of the Friends of Humanity, and the mad one is Steven Lang. Lang's been in there ever since his mind was downloaded into the Master Mold in Incredible Hulk Annual #7. This eventually turns out to be foreshadowing for the Phalanx storyline. Two years later. By which time everybody had forgotten about it.

Comments: Issues #291-293 were, at the time, "The Last Morlock Story." As it turns out, the Morlocks are like weeds - no matter how many of the buggers you kill, no matter how ostentatiously you do it, some writer or other will always drag them back.

The main purpose of the storyline seems to be to write out the Morlocks and Mikhail Rasputin. Both of these are entirely understandable aims. Mikhail's ill-defined energy abilities were never particularly interesting, and the Morlocks had decayed in recent stories from being a fascinating subterranean community of outcasts to being just a bunch of psychotic deformed people. Getting rid of them was not a bad idea at all.

Unfortunately, Lobdell ends up giving us a story in which every single character who isn't actually in the X-Men is literally a raving lunatic. It is possible to do good stories about mad characters, but this isn't one of them. Mikhail and Callisto's motivations flip-flop about, and the Morlocks are little more than a Greek chorus of loonies. There seems to be some complicated idea about Mikhail being driven mad by grief over the Posse Comitatus members who died under his leadership, and therefore being driven by (a) a mad desire to instal himself as the leader of pretty much any group that'll have him; and (b) a deranged nihilist obsession with mass suicide. It just doesn't work.

Since the title didn't have a regular artist at this point, the storyline is drawn by Tom Raney (over breakdowns by Rurik Tyler). Raney eventually shows up again as the regular artist on Mutant X in 1998, by which time he's much, much better. The art in this storyline is alright, but nothing great.

Feature characters: Professor X (last in X-Men Vol 2 #11); Jean Grey (last in Excalibur #52); Colossus, Storm, Archangel, Iceman, Bishop (all last in the Infinity War crossover)

Supporting character: The Healer (last b/s in issue #278; dies)

Villains: Callisto (last in issue #264); Mikhail Rasputin; the Morlocks (last in X-Force #10); the Friends of Humanity (first appearance; next in issue #294); Steven Lang (last b/s in Incredible Hulk Annual #7; next in X-Factor #106 f/b)

STORY: "The Morlocks Take Manhattan" (22 pages)
Credits: Scott Lobdell (writer), Rurik Tyler (layouts), Tom Raney (finisher), Josef Rubinstein, Al Milgrom (inkers), Lois Buhalis, Tom Orzechowski (letterers), Steve Buccellato (colourist), Bob Harras (editor), Tom DeFalco (editor-in-chief)

The X-Men fight deranged Morlocks in New York. Professor X finds a disturbed telepathic Morlock child who is triggering the hysteria, and calms him down. At the mansion, Mikhail turns Iceman wholly into ice, then beats him up.

What you need to know:

• Iceman gets turned entirely into ice for the first time. This is an early sighting of a recurring theme in Lobdell's Iceman stories, with various characters pointing out just how little use he's making of those wonderful powers of his. Frankly, he looks awful. The next time Lobdell uses this idea, the artist gets it right.

Comments: See Comments for issue #291, really. Though this issue does have a memorably unpleasant scene in which Xavier simply doesn't notice that he's driven a spike through his leg, assumes that he's just caught his trousers on a spike, and tries to pull himself free... Quite how it ever got past the Comics Code, I'll never know.

Feature characters: Professor X, Jean Grey, Colossus, Storm, Archangel, Iceman, Bishop

Villains: Callisto, the Morlocks, Mikhail Rasputin; MeMe (a Morlock; real name unknown; first appearance; dies)

Other character: Brain Cell (Kevin --; a Morlock; first and only appearance)

STORY: "The Last Morlock Story" (22 pages)
Credits: Scott Lobdell (writer), Rurik Tyler (layouts), Tom Raney (finisher), Josef Rubinstein (inker), Lois Buhalis (letterer), Kevin Tinsley (colourist), Bob Harras (editor), Tom DeFalco (editor-in-chief)

Mikhail and Callisto go to the Morlocks tunnels. Mikhail instals himself as the Morlocks' leader, and seemingly kills himself and all the Morlocks in a mass suicide, despite the X-Men's efforts to stop him.

What you need to know:

• Mikhail kills everyone. Well, actually, he doesn't - Cable #15 reveals that he actually teleported them somewhere else, and the Storm miniseries (of which the less said the better) establishes that it's a bizarre dimension in which they all fight to reach the top of a hill in a bad allegory. A few renegade Morlocks also continue to crop up in the tunnels. So much for Scott Lobdell's attempt to write the Morlocks out, then.
• Jean Grey delivers a moving, and entirely wrong, speech in which she tells Archangel that his wings don't have a seperate personality after all (even though previous stories showed pretty clearly that they did). A quite dreadful attempt to sweep a perfectly good and rather interesting plot under the carpet, but unfortunately it's been allowed to stand.
• In a particularly staggering scene, Callisto loses a fist-fight to Professor X, a paralysed man in a daze. Not her finest hour.
• The young Marrow is one of the Morlocks who leave Earth in this issue. She's not actually in any of the panels, but that's nobody's going to think her up for another couple of years. But through the wonders of retroactive continuity, she's in there somewhere.

Comments: Oh dear. Never liked this one. Aside from being part of the not very good Morlock story, it drives a coach and horses through the long running subplot about Archangel's wings. Early Lobdell issues do read like something of a deck clearing exercise - there goes Hiro, there goes Forge, Mikhail gets chucked out the window, the Morlocks all die, and here an axe gets taken to a dangling subplot with scant regard for what had come before. This storyline is really best left to the completists. Lobdell seems to have had some interesting ideas about Mikhail and Callisto's motivations, but that's about the best that can be said.

Feature characters: Professor X (next in X-Men Vol 2 #12-13, then in Wolverine #65, then in Excalibur #57-58); Jean Grey, Colossus, Storm, Archangel, Iceman, Bishop

Villains: Mikhail Rasputin (next in Storm #2 f/b); Callisto (chronologically next in issue #373); the Morlocks (next in flashback in issue #373); Thornn (last in X-Force #10), Sarah (the young Marrow; both b/s; both next in Cable #15)

STORY: "Overture" (23 pages)
Credits: Scott Lobdell (writer), Brandon Peterson (penciller), Terry Austin (inker), Chris Eliopoulos (letterer), Mike Thomas (colourist), Bob Harras (editor), Tom DeFalco (editor-in-chief)

X-CUTIONER'S SONG, PART 1 Lila Cheney invites Professor Xavier to address her anti-racism concert in Central Park. His speech, calling for tolerance of mutants, gets a mixed reaction. Then, a man appearing to be Cable appears from the crowd and shoots Xavier. The X-Men present in the crowd try to stop the assassin, but he teleports away. Meanwhile, in Salem Center, Cyclops and Jean Grey are abducted by the Horsemen of Apocalypse.

What you need to know:

• Not much. This is the first part of X-Cutioner's Song, the big summer crossover of 1992. The storyline is enormously important. If you read X-Force. If you're just following the X-Men, it's a nice little story but not enormously important to the overall plot.
• The story continues in X-Factor #84, X-Men Vol 2 #14 and X-Force #16, in which it turns out that the Horsemen aren't actually working for Apocalypse at all (Mr Sinister is posing as Apocalypse and stringing them along); Sinister hands Scott and Jean over to Stryfe in exchange for a canister (which we later find out has the Legacy Virus in it, and not what Sinister was expecting at all); Apocalypse's real henchmen find out what's happening and wake him from suspended animation, but it's too early and he's not feeling very well; X-Force get hunted down and captured on suspicion of collaborating with Cable; Cable races around trying to avoid getting captured and clear his name; Xavier turns out to have been shot with some weird techno-organic bullet which infects his body; and Sinister starts giving the X-Men hints about what they should do. Basically.
• Oh, and if you're the sort of sad bastard who insists on buying everything in mint condition, you're looking for a comic in a sealed plastic bag, with a trading card. Isn't that just thrilling?

Comments: Ah, now this is what we buy the X-books for. Crossovers.

X-Cutioner's Song was the big crossover of 1992, meandering its way through this title and X-Men (the X-Men were key to the plot), X-Force (X-Force were key to the plot) and X-Factor (X-Factor flailed around contributing nothing to the plot, but the book was forced to take part despite the objections of writer Peter David). Crossovers are rather out of fashion in online fandom at the moment, but I don't care. I like X-Cutioner's Song, always have.

Sure, nobody's going to put this forward as an all-time classic of comics, but it's really pretty good (unless, of course, you happened to be reading X-Factor and had to sit through three months of unrelated drivel - though the art was nice). It's got a decent, well worked out plot; it's got villains who pose a genuine threat, even if nobody seriously believes Xavier's going to die; it's got pretty good art across the whole storyline; and dammit, it's just good fun. If you're judging it against other stories, it's a good fun romp. If you're judging it against the usual standard of X-books crossovers, it's miraculously good.

This issue gets the task of doing the set-up, and with the plot sprawling over a whopping twelve issues (a year's worth of storyline in normal circumstances) there's actually a fair amount of space for the characters to talk to one another. Although there's also a satisfyingly extended brawl with the Horsemen of Apocalypse, if you like that sort of thing. Xavier also gets to give a speech about the evils of prejudice, for the benefit of those who need the subtext spelled out with a big neon sign. Lobdell gets away with it by having the crowd pretty much boo him off stage.

It's unfashionable, it's a crossover, but I like it. So sue me.

Feature characters: Professor X, Jean Grey (both last in Wolverine Vol 2 #65), Storm, Bishop, Archangel (the latter three last in X-Factor #84), Cyclops, Gambit, Rogue (the latter three last in Excalibur #58), Colossus, Iceman (all but the latter two next in X-Factor #84, then all in X-Men Vol 2 #14, then all in X-Force #16 (Professor X b/s))

Guest stars: Strong Guy, Madrox the Multiple Man, Quicksilver (as X-Factor II; between X-Factor #83-84); Cannonball II (last in X-Men Vol 2 #13), Boom-Boom, Warpath, Sunspot, Rictor, Siryn, Feral, Shatterstar (the latter two b/s; the latter seven last in X-Force #15; all next in X-Factor #85; all as X-Force)

Villains: The Friends of Humanity (last in issue #291; next in Sabretooth #1); Stryfe (last in X-Men Vol 2 #13; next in X-Force #16); Caliban (last in New Mutants #94), War, Famine (both last in X-Factor #26; all next in X-Factor #84; as the Horsemen of Apocalypse); Mr Sinister (b/s; between X-Factor #75 and #84)

STORY: "Familiar Refrain" (22 pages)
Credits: Scott Lobdell (writer), Brandon Peterson (penciller), Terry Austin (inker), Chris Eliopoulos (letterer), Joe Rosas (colourist), Bob Harras (editor), Tom DeFalco (editor-in-chief)

X-CUTIONER'S SONG, PART 5 Apocalypse has a skirmish with the X-Men but escapes. X-Force are held prisoner by the X-Men and X-Factor, who allow Cannonball to help them fight Stryfe. Wolverine and Bishop go to a secret Canadian government base in search of files on Stryfe, and find Cable has got there first.

What you need to know:

• Again, not an enormous amount. This issue is full of plot points for the crossover, but not much happens that has a great impact on the series.
• The story continues in X-Factor #95, X-Men Vol 2 #15 and X-Force #17, in which (deep breath):- Bishop, Cable and Wolverine team up and head off to Cable's headquarters in orbit around Earth; Professor X stays in a coma; the X-Men and X-Factor have a fight with Stryfe's former henchmen, the Mutant Liberation Front, which achieves not a great deal but gets some of the team injured; Cyclops and Jean escape from their cell in Stryfe's headquarters; and a badly injured Apocalypse goes to the X-Men for help.

Comments: See above, really. The plot romps satisfyingly onwards, the art's decent enough (though Brandon Peterson would improve enormously over subsequent years). Fun.

Oh, and incidentally, this is the first issue of Uncanny X-Men to feature the entire team roster in a single story since the book was relaunched, over a year before.

Feature characters: Storm, Archangel, Bishop, Cyclops, Wolverine (all next in X-Factor #85, then in X-Men Vol 2 #15, then in X-Force #17), Gambit, Rogue (both next in X-Factor #85, then in X-Men Vol 2 #15, then in X-Force #17, then in issue #297), Psylocke (next in X-Factor #85, then in X-Men Vol 2 #15), Colossus, Iceman (next in X-Factor #86, then in X-Men Vol 2 #16, then in X-Force #18, then Colossus in Wolverine #66, then both in Wolverine #67-68, then in X-Men Vol 2 #17-19, then in issue #299), Jubilee (next in X-Force #18, then in issue #297; all last in X-Force #16)

Guest stars: Havok, Polaris, Quicksilver, Madrox the Multiple Man, Wolfsbane, Strong Guy (as X-Factor II; all between X-Force #16 and X-Men Vol 2 #15); Cannonball II, Feral, Boom-Boom, Rictor, Sunspot, Shatterstar, Siryn, Warpath (b/s; all as X-Force; all between X-Force #16-17 except Cannonball and Boom-Boom, who appear next in X-Factor #85); Cable (between X-Force #16 and X-Factor #85); the Professor (between X-Force #16-17)

Supporting character: Moira MacTaggert (between X-Men Vol 2 #14-15)

Villains: Apocalypse (between X-Men Vol 2 #14 and X-Factor #85); Famine, War (no further appearances for either), Caliban (next in Annual #18; all last in X-Force #16; as the Horsemen of Apocalypse)

Guest appearance: Valerie Cooper (between X-Force #16-17)