14 may 2000

This week's replacement for Mutant X (which regular readers will know I am not going to review until such time as it manages to be at least slightly interesting) is PLANETARY. It fits in rather nicely here, partly because it's Warren Ellis, but mainly because it's a far better example of an alternate reality story.

Planetary doesn't do alternate reality stories as such, but its format of digging around in the history of the WildStorm Universe and encountering various genres and characters means that Ellis is frequently doing thinly veiled alternate versions of existing heroes. This issue is a particularly blatant example - in fact, so blatant that you suspect it might have caused problems were it not for the fact that DC and WildStorm are now basically the same people.

The story here is flashbacks to the origins of alternate reality versions of Superman, Wonder Woman and Green Lantern, all of which are brutally and nastily cut short by Planetary's regular villains the Four, who are themselves skewed versions of the Fantastic Four. On a surface level, the story does exactly what the title suggests, "Magic & Loss" - the heroes' stories, however skewed, being presented absolutely straight as images of hope and inspiration, before being gunned down in the closing sequence by the Four. John Cassaday's artwork is the key to making all this work, with beautifully alien and epic sequences.

But with Planetary, the real question is always wondering what the point is. It's plainly allegory, the question is for what. Some readers have put forward the view that this is supposed to be the authority figures of the Four killing the outsider heroes who would have challenged their authority. It's arguable - especially since Ellis has used an entirely generic Green Lantern figure, down to his plain white body - but does seem to rest on the highly questionable idea that the Fantastic Four, basically a group of scientific explorers, are somehow more symbolic of authority than Green Lantern, representative of an intergalactic police force.

After all, these characters all stand for essentially the same middle American values and always have. And when Planetary refers to other stories, it's usually wanting to talk about the stories and genres. The other obvious interpretation here is that this is the DC Golden Age being killed and tarnished by the Marvel Silver Age. The Silver Age isn't usually seen as a very dark period, but Marvel's introduction of flawed, angst-ridden heroes whose powers were frequently presented as a curse rather than a blessing certainly dimmed the lights on the whole superhero genre.

And if you're wondering why those three DC superheroes: it's because they're the supernaturally inspiring icons. Batman doesn't fit the mold by having been gloomy and dark to begin with, and in any event he's going to be done in a seperate story that's already been solicited. Anyhow, this interpretation seems to fit much better with the series' theme of beautiful and inspiring concepts buried under the weight of history and collusion.

But hell, it could mean something else entirely. The original point I was heading for, and the reason I chose this as the substitute book for Mutant X, is that Planetary is referencing all these other stories for a real point and purpose. That makes it a worthwhile series. Compare and contrast with Mutant X.

We're now four issues into the Neo storyline, and - sing along if you know the words - the Neo still don't work. But the problems with UNCANNY X-MEN #382 go way beyond that.

Let's start with the big problem here, which surprisingly few people have picked up on. Last issue, the Shockwave Riders stole some of Jean's memories, leading to her entering one of their minds to try and get them back. She was, as you'd imagine, rather upset. It was a major plot point. You may remember it.

The story, however, clearly doesn't remember it, since not only does Jean not achieve her aim, but it isn't even referred to once. Even when recapping the plot for the benefit of newcomers, Hank only tells us that Jean is trying to stop the Neo from killing himself "to avoid interrogation." I get the distinct feeling that the goalposts are being moved.

For another, less prominent example, there's Cable's comments on the Shockwave Riders. Apparently they're legends in his time. Now, leaving aside the fact that this sequence is utterly pointless (Cable goes on to say that the X-Men are legends too, rather devaluing any point he was trying to make), shouldn't he have reacted accordingly when they showed up last issue?

In any event, the failure to continue effectively what was a major plot point in the previous issue combines with the Neo's continuing lack of interesting features to leave this issue in pretty bad shape. There's a brief flicker of interest when the story seems to be suggesting that the Neo share some kind of communal mind. This would be a good idea. But it goes nowhere in this issue, as the Neo instead wheel out four completely new, generic and personality-free characters to attack our heroes, promptly sending them right back to "characters I don't care about." These people have no personality, no worthwhile agenda, and they show no sign of developing either.

As if a weak plot and unengaging villains weren't enough, however, this issue contains all manner of other irritants - some of which are basically matters of taste, some of which really come with the territory in Claremont stories these days. Gambit's schoolboy French, usually followed by a direct translation into English, really gets on my nerves. ("Apocalypse, il est mort. He's dead." "Never with votre coeur. Never with your heart.") He hasn't spoken like this in years, and frankly, he never should again.

All the sequences on the astral plane are played as if it were the physical world, with no real concession made to the fact that it's different in any way. Whatever the state of her Phoenix powers, Jean Grey is one of the most powerful telepaths on the planet. How am I meant to take her seriously when she is attacked on the astral plane and tells us that she will have to rely on fighting with her fists? She doesn't even have any fists! It's the sodding astral plane! Just reshape the damn place so you win, you stupid bitch! But no, that would be inconvenient, so the nature of the astral plane is ignored for the sake of the fight.

The Lost Souls' "I am Insert Name Here!" sequence is just plain embarrassing. It then leads into yet another variation on "The heroes are exposed to depressing illusions representing their angst points, but ultimately triumph by the power of hope." This whole routine is a hopeless old cliche, and this isn't even a particularly good run through it. Remy and Jean get the entirely obvious illusions; Ororo and Hank get stuff which is bordering on generic and just isn't worth the space. Gambit's "Now and always, I choose to LAUGH!" speech is skin-crawlingly awful.

Oh, and having Hank react to Jean's "we shouldn't kill people" speech as if it was a revelatory example of her character is nonsensical. Surely it can't come as a surprise to anyone.

Nitpicking? Perhaps, but when the issue is 95% nits, nitpicking becomes a valid pursuit.

The plus points: well, there's nice art from Tom Raney, who even manages to make the very dodgy costumes for Hank and Cable work. And Cable's fight scene, holding off the Shockwave Riders, is alright.

But bluntly, this is a pretty bad issue. This is an incoherent muddle of cliches and characters I don't care about in the slightest. Only the art raises this issue above a D+, and then only by the slimmest of margins. I cling to the hope that Claremont's run will improve once he gets off the Neo storyline, which is dying on its arse right now.

The best X-book this week by a very wide margin is X-MEN: THE HIDDEN YEARS, although you will realise that this is not awfully difficult. Whatever you may think of some of Byrne's pointless retcons (does he really have to complicate the Phoenix mess even further?), this series is at least showing a proper direction, a plot that's been properly thought out, and some foreshadowing which is genuinely intriguing. The opening sequence, inexplicably spending three pages on a flashback to a Thomas/Adams issue that has no bearing on the main story, still manages to pull off the trick of convincing us that it's heading somewhere.

The main plot is the X-Men heading off with the Fantastic Four to try and finish off the Z'Nox, the alien invaders that they drove off in the penultimate issue of the 1960s series. It certainly makes sense that the X-Men would give this a go, although the Z'Nox have never struck me as particularly impressive villains that I'm keen to see again. Byrne gives them a big push in a lengthy recap of the original story, wisely blurring over the nonsense about beams of caring energy, but they're a rather daft visual and I'm not altogether convinced they can be made to work. We shall see.

The series is drowning in subplots, but is still sitting just on the right side of saturation point here. Nonetheless, the time has definitely come to start advancing some of these plots before they go stale - some parts of the cast are STILL messing around in the Savage Land after eight months, and the Candy Southern subplot is seven months in without noticeably going anywhere.

Nonetheless, this is some of the best work Byrne's doing at the moment, and quite simply a vast improvement on anything else the X-office has to offer this week.

Another preview I picked up at the Comics 2000 Convention a few weeks back. OUTLAW NATION is a new ongoing Vertigo title from Jamie Delano. Originally it was going to be called The Great Satan, but apparently the view was taken that people would confuse it with the new Lucifer solo title, which I suppose is arguable.

Delano, of course, is a long-serving Vertigo writer who wrote a highly-regarded run on Hellblazer (which I haven't read). Last I saw of him, he was doing a stint on Animal Man. To be honest, I picked up one issue of that, decided it was hideously preachy and stilted, and never bought the book again. But hell, this is a preview. It's free.

And it's pretty good. It's hard to see it being Vertigo's much sought after new flagship title to replace Preacher, but it's a solid story with the right levels of intelligence and oddity to fit in nicely in the Vertigo line without crossing the line into being another generic Vertigo book. The series is focused on the Johnson family, a bizarre scattering of characters who are kind of anti-establishment urban legends. The main character, Story, is a writer who's been working on his epic American novel in seclusion ever since he went missing during the Vietnam War. His return to America will presumably be providing the vehicle for the series to attempt its exploration of the whole USA.

Oh, and before people ask, no, it's not like Transmetropolitan in the slightest.

The first issue spends a lot of time building up the Johnsons as an ideal of outlaw freedom, although in sufficiently vague terms that Delano might well be heading for something a little less obvious down the line. The main villain is veering dangerously close to cartoon territory to provide a real opposing viewpoint in this issue, and the series admittedly has potential there to slide into simplistic anti-establishment rhetoric. But on the other hand, there's enough here to suggest that Delano isn't going for such an obvious approach.

Artist Gordon Sudzuka does a perfectly solid job - nothing particularly flashy, but he puts the characters over well, does some good solid storytelling, and handles the big visuals (of which there are surprisingly many for a Vertigo book) effectively.

This doesn't have the obvious attitude of a Preacher or a Transmet, and it's hard to see it picking up quite the devoted following of either. But it's not so hard to see it finding a quieter cult audience (as Invisibles had in its later days) and settling down into a reliable title. I'll give the series a go, at any rate.