12 november 2000

Not many X-books out this week, so let's pick up the slack with Storm's guest appearance in BLACK PANTHER. Black Panther is one of those "critically acclaimed" titles, which means it sells bugger all. You people should do something about that, since it's one of the best books Marvel put out. And now Storm's here to give you an excuse. Isn't that great?

For those of you who haven't been following this series, it's just wrapped up its previous storyline in which a couple of major characters got killed (including one of the Panther's ex- girlfriends), and the Panther's generally not all that happy about it. Since they're a bit worried about him, the supporting cast have brought in Storm.

Storm's relationship with the Black Panther derives mainly from a back-up strip in Marvel Team-Up #100, which gave them a vaguely defined past relationship and a flashback showing them meeting as kids. This was presumably on the basis that if they were both black and lived in Africa, they MUST have met. After all, it's not as if the Marvel Universe had all that many Africans, so chances are they all knew one another.

Now, in the manner of this series, there's a hell of a lot going on in this issue, most of which Storm has very little to do with. The main storyline concerns a couple of Deviants who have run away from Lemuria, leading the Deviant leader to threaten war; and there's a subplot revolving around a character called Vibraxas who I have a very vague recollection used to be in (shudder) the Fantastic Force.

But what Storm can offer the series is that she's one of the very few characters in the book who can talk to T'Challa as an equal; most of the others quite naturally deal with him as a monarch. There's Monica Lynne still hanging around, of course, but Storm's got the benefit of not being involved in the intricacies of the plot, allowing her to come in as a friend and show T'Challa in a more obviously human light than usual. She's in something of a sounding board role, admittedly, but a very well written sounding board; Priest has a great handle of the character. (And she's going to be around for the rest of the storyline as well, so perhaps a more compelling plot reason for her presence is going to emerge in time.)

This series has something of a reputation for being inaccessible, which derives mainly from the early days when it was being written in non-linear style, jumping back and forwards between scenes. It doesn't do that any more, and this should be a reasonably good jumping on point for new readers. Everett Ross, as narrator, glosses over explaning who the Deviants are for a throwaway joke, but anything you need know was already worked into the previous conversation scene.

I could, admittedly, live with a bit more explanation of who the hell Vibraxas is, given that he was never exactly all that prominent a character in the first place, but presumably we're coming to that. There's enough here to make the story work, and since he's only in a subplot, that'll do. I could also stand to lose the routine with the Deviant child swapping its mind with Storm; aside from the fact that it's a cliche, it's also rather silly and doesn't go anywhere. But that's a one page scene.

Sal Velluto and Bob Almond's art has been a bit variable in the past, with some rather lumpy action scenes, but they're looking pretty good in this issue. The cover is as bad as it gets, with the Panther apparently playing "how many potatoes can I stuff under my shirt", and it's still perfectly acceptable.

This, people, is a good book which deserves your attention. Give it a try.

Back at the actual X-books, it's down to earth with a clunk as the Dream's End crossover lumbers its way into CABLE.

Robert Weinberg doesn't strike me as the sort of writer likely to feel particularly comfortable writing part two of a four part crossover, and this issue more or less confirms my suspicions. It's a dutiful trudge through a fight between the X-Men and the Brotherhood of Mutants that has precisely zero to do with any of the ongoing storylines in this book. The crossover hasn't given Weinberg much to work with (big fight, Pyro turns up to sacrifice himself and save Kelly, rousing plea for tolerance, urk Pyro's dead, the end), but the story doesn't do much beyond give us a big fight, something Weinberg doesn't seem altogether comfortable with.

Which is a shame, since this is the Brotherhood of Mutants' attempt to assassinate Kelly, supposedly one of the most momentous events in X-Men history (well, it was the first time round, anyway), and there's not much sense of momentousness here. It's not bad. It's just... there.

The story opens with a seven page flashback of Cable rescuing Rogue from a lynch mob as a child. This has nothing to do with the rest of the story, and I have no clue what it's there for. It's not as if either character benefits much from having a serendipitous meeting inserted into their histories.

Sorry, but this leaves me cold. Pyro's spent so many years lumbering around the Marvel Universe on the verge of death (and occasionally making noises about reforming) that it's hard to care much about his supposed deathbed conversion here. It's a story that doesn't belong in this book done by a creative team who don't exactly seem fired up with inspiration for the event - and who can blame them?

There's been some discussion recently on whether X-MEN UNLIMITED is going to make it past the upcoming purge of minor-league X-books. In the name of all that is holy, let us pray for its cancellation.

No disrespect intended here to Joe Pruett, who has produced some perfectly reasonable stories on the rare occasions when he's had the opportunity. But X-Men Unlimited is the symbol of everything that was wrong with the X-books' publishing policy in the nineties - a book that had absolutely no point, no purpose and no reason to exist at all. Shoved out there purely to milk the franchise, the book has staggered gamely on in a zombie-like halflife of glaring pointlessness, publishing stories of negligible import.

This issue, X-Men Unlimited is part of the Maximum Security crossover. How gripping. Actually, this contains some fairly major plot points for the Maximum Security crossover (Ronan the Accuser prematurely starts absorbing the power of Ego, potentially derailing the Kree plans), but that doesn't stop it being another workmanlike trudge through a remit handed down from on high.

As with Cable, this isn't exactly bad, but there's no real sense of passion or interest here. It gets in there, it bangs out its plot points for the overall crossover, it throws in the token scene of tension between Rogue and Warbird (not overplayed, which is fair enough given that it's been something like twenty years since the original story now, and they mention it every time the two meet, so there's nothing much new to be said about it). It has nothing of its own to say, so it says nothing beyond what the crossover requires.

We do not need an X-book to serve the function of bashing out plot points in the middle chapter of a crossover. And that is pretty much what this book does these days. If ever there was a pointless publication deserving of the axe in a trimming of the line, this is it. If they trim the line and miss this book out, they are applying the wrong criteria.

This issue's back-up strip comes from Cully Hamner, writing and drawing a story set in the relatively early days of the new X-Men (circa Uncanny X-Men #160, for those of you keeping track). Colossus fails to save some people in a train crash because he's too worried about Illyana, and feels guilty about it until Wolverine has a chat with him. Decent enough back-up strip, but hardly what you'd call essential material.

It is to be devoutly hoped that this is the penultimate issue.

There are two schools of thought on Garth Ennis' Punisher series. Some people love it because of the black comedy. Other people, often the character's hardcore fans, hate it because it's being funny rather than taking the character seriously. These latter people are wrong. The Punisher is just too one-note a character to work for long when he's being taken seriously. He's inherently a rather ridiculous, over the top power fantasy, and black comedy works perfectly well for that.

If you don't agree that the Punisher works better played for laughs, then you will hate PUNISHER/PAINKILLER JANE, a one-shot also written by Garth Ennis. This is one of those intercompany crossovers with a wild disparity in the prominence of the characters used. (Anyone remember Wolverine/Deathblow?) The Punisher, we're all familiar with. Painkiller Jane is one of the Quesada/Palmiotti characters from Event Comics, and other than that I know nothing about her.

Fortunately, I don't need to. I have no clue whether it fits with the established character or not, but this issue plays her straightforwardly as another violent bastard even more disturbed than the Punisher. Playing shamelessly for laughs, Ennis has her develop a crush on the Punisher and follow him round as a stalker. The Punisher tries to get on with his war on crime while being pursued relentlessly by a fawning psychopath. Cue cute gags in which he attempts to get rid of her (incuding shoving her, Bugs Bunny style, on a one-way plane to Anchorage).

Art comes from Joe Jusko and Dave Ross, both of whom strike the right balance between deadpan and the occasional sequence of outright comedy. Ross is apparently going to be replacing Joe Quesada on the belated issues of Daredevil, and he seems a perfectly good choice based on this.

There is absolutely no serious point to this story at all. Which is great. Maybe Ennis is going to pull off an ongoing Punisher series after all.