FIRST STORY: "The Rage of Blastaar" (15 pages)  One of Professor X's machines accidentally brings Blastaar to Earth, but the X-Men defeat him.

What you need to know:
Er...  nothing, really.  Blastaar supposedly dies at the end (by being electrocuted in a puddle of water), but evidently he was alright after all, because it never stopped anyone else from using him.

Remarkably, this appalling story was dredged up and reprinted in Marvel Mini Comics Giveaway #4 in 1988.  Otherwise, it's been out of print since its original publication in 1969, and a good thing too. 

A more innocent time:
Almost everything Blastaar says in this issue deserves to be in this category, including his opening two-page monologue.  He's very fond of self-pitying whining.  "Aaaagh!  What is this bone-deep pain that sears me like a knife of fire?"

He also does grandiose aggression: "Blastaar too can fly!  ...  A living rocket - aimed at your vitals!"

Jean's dialogue when she's using Xavier's machine is... certainly different.  "So far so good!  Mild tingling sensation!  Internal vibrations beginning to build...!  Gradual building continues!  OOOO!  What was that?  S-sudden burst of energy! ...  UNHHH!  Again!  One flash after another!"

Cyclops, attempting to explain that Blastaar isn't dead just because he's, you know, dead: "Blastaar's basic energy was -- evil!  Pure, unadulterated hate!  And, wherever men live with hate in their hearts -- Blastaar lives there too!"  Of course he does.

Over in the letters page, Maria Pepeta of Omaha, Nebraska complains that Marvel should bring back Professor X.  The answer is illuminating on several levels:  "Believe us, Maria, we'd bring back the redoubtable Professor Xavier if it were humanly possible or plausible!  ... [But] we not only saw him die - saw a grief-stricken Angel carry his lifeless form from a smouldering underground cavern - but we also witnessed his burial!  Honest, pussycat - we're all for last-minute rescues, but bringing back the X-Men's lamented leader at this late date is probably a bit more than even the understanding throngs of Marveldom Assembled would stand for!"

Meanwhile, future Marvel editor and continuity cop Mark Gruenwald writes in to criticise the colour scheme of the X-Men's uniforms as unoriginal, and argue that the Angel must fly by psychic levitation, since "the eleven foot wingspan is not large enough to allow him to be supported aerodynamically by the air currents."

Comments:
Hilariously bad.  The entire plot is that the X-Men accidentally summon up a Fantastic Four villain, who attacks them for no reason, so they fight for the rest of the story until he drops dead.  Seriously, that's the whole thing.  Throw in some truly godforsaken dialogue and you have one of the most memorably dreadful X-Men stories ever committed to paper. 

Otherwise, the only notable thing about the issue is that it features guest art from Barry Windsor-Smith.  It's basically a Kirby pastiche, and far from his best work.

FEATURE CHARACTERS
Cyclops, the Beast, Iceman, Marvel Girl I (all next in Sub-Mariner vol 1 #14) and the Angel (all last in Avengers vol 1 #60)

VILLAIN
Blastaar (chronologically last in Defenders vol 2 #10; chronologically next in the third story in Marvel: Shadows & Light)

SECOND STORY: "Welcome to the Club, Beast" (5 pages)  The X-Men rescue Hank and recruit him into the team.

What you need to know:
Besides the obvious (Hank joins the X-Men), Xavier also wipes everyone's memory of Hank's powers.  This was later used as a springboard for the Beast story in Marvel Comics Presents #85-92, but otherwise it's been largely glossed over.

As with the other chapters, an edited reprint of this story was incorporated into Amazing Adventures vol 2 #17 in 1973.  Bizarrely it also appears (along with this issue's lead story) in Marvel Mini Comics Giveaway #4, despite the fact that it's the final part of a serial.

Comments:
Well, it's better than the lead story, if only by virtue of being competent.  Of course, the bit about erasing everyone's memory of Hank's powers makes no sense.  Hank was using his powers in public, in televised football matches.  That's how El Conquistador noticed him in the first place.

FEATURE CHARACTERS
Professor X, Cyclops, Iceman, the Angel and Hank McCoy (joins the X-Men; between panels 3 and 4 of page 5, Professor X and Hank appear in flashback in issue #15, then all but Angel appear in Uncanny Origins #6; all next in flashback in the Beast story in Marvel Comics Presents #85)

SUPPORTING CHARACTERS
Norton McCoy and Edna McCoy (both next in flashback in issue #15)

VILLAINS
El Conquistador (dies)
Chico (no further appearances)

Written: 26 March 2005

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