STORY: "We Must Destroy the Cobalt Man" (20 pages)  Ted Roberts' brother Ralph goes on a rampage as the Cobalt Man after a blow to the head; the X-Men rein him in.

What you need to know:
Xavier packs Scott off to return some books to Jean.  This is his way of trying to finally force some progress in their romance subplot, which has gone absolutely nowhere since it started 29 issues previously.

Warren finally gives up on Jean.  He immediately runs into old friend Candy Southern (or "Sothern", as it's spelt in this issue), who is promptly established as his love interest.  She never does much in X-Men, but she did stick around for a good few years, eventually ending up as a supporting character in Defenders while Warren was starring in that book.  She's also a recurring character in X-Men: The Hidden Years.

After being trailed in the last couple of issues, Ted's brother Ralph Roberts turns up.  (Sorry, "Ralph Roberts, boy industrialist.")  Ralph is a scientist type who used to work for Tony Stark, but quit because Stark wouldn't let him near the Iron Man armour.  He plans to build his own cobalt-based armour and then turn it over to the government like a good little patriot.  Unfortunately, the armour blows up if you wear it for more than two hours. 

Scott and Jean make a thoroughly inept job of disguising their identities when the Cobalt Man goes nuts, and Ted drops some fairly heavy hints that he's guessed who they are.  (Ted confirms this when he turns up next, in issue #34.)

Xavier is planning some experiments while the X-Men are away from the Mansion.  As we find out next issue, this is his attempt to wake the Juggernaut.

Ralph makes passing mention of a vehicle - a cobalt vehicle, naturally - which he's going to use to travel to the centre of the earth.  This crops up again in issue #34.

A more innocent time:
If you're wondering what's so scary about cobalt, that's because you weren't around in 1967.  The cobalt bomb was a proposed type of nuclear weapon, specifically designed to render entire areas uninhabitable for years.  So far as is known, nobody has ever built one.  Anyhow, the Cobalt Man is a play on the nuclear paranoia of the time.  (The credits gleefully describe the creative team as "Stable elements all!")

There's another visit to the Coffee A-Go-Go, where Bernard the Poet debuts his newest work, Amorphous Ode to a Yo-Yo.  ("Like, life is a yo-yo, and mankind keeps tying knots in the string!  Go up... go down... then call it progress!  For happiness is a warm puppet!")  As usual, the teenage X-Men stubbornly insist on turning up in suits and ties.

Warren finds that his favourite pizza restaurant has closed and turned into yet another sixties club, The Monkee's Paw.  The guy on the door invites Warren to "come on in and snap your mind", which seems a touch ambitious considering that the DJ is playing "Daydream Believer" at the time.

Comments:
The strength of the Marvel Universe is that it gives writers a pool of concepts to draw on; the downside is that it sometimes results in stories like this.  All the Cobalt Man really does in this issue is mention a topical issue, and then bang on about how much he wants to go after Iron Man.  What we have here is a character who desperately wants to be an Iron Man villain.  But Roy Thomas isn't writing Iron Man, so instead he gets shoehorned into X-Men - a book where he doesn't really belong.  This sort of thing was one of the major weaknesses of Roy Thomas' run; he seems to have been so excited at getting to play in the Marvel Universe that he kept using characters that didn't click with the X-Men at all, simply because this was the title he happened to be writing.

The Cobalt Man's not all that exciting a character, anyway, since he's really just a guy who gets knocked on the head and goes a bit nuts.  There's some more interesting stuff about rivalry with his brother Ted, admittedly, but it doesn't have all that much to do with this story.

The Greenwich Village stuff is great, though.  This and the next issue have some of the funniest, and most knowing, Silver Age coffee shop scenes.

FEATURE CHARACTERS
Professor X, Cyclops, the Angel, the Beast, Iceman and Marvel Girl I (all next in the third story in X-Men Unlimited vol 1 #42, where Marvel Girl receives her green costume, though she does not actually start using it until issue #39)

SUPPORTING CHARACTERS
Ted Roberts (between issues #28 and #34)
Vera Cantor and Zelda (both last in issue #27)
Candace "Candy" Southern (first appearance)

VILLAINS
The Cobalt Man (Ralph Roberts; first actual appearance; next in issue #34)
Factor Three: the Mutant-Master, the Blob, the Changeling, Mastermind, Unus the Untouchable and the Vanisher (all behind the scenes)

OTHER CHARACTERS
Bernard the Poet (last in issue #14)

Written: 27 October 2004

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