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I'm out of town over the weekend,
so let's have a quick run through this week's X-books on
Friday before I go. Normally the prospect of cramming
six X-books into a relatively quick column would be a
difficult one, but fortunately this week happens to include
two Chuck Austen books and one by Frank Tieri, as well as an
issue of X-Men Unlimited, so it's not like we're
missing much.
I know I've said this in the last
few weeks as well, but we have now firmly returned to the days
of the late 1990s when the X-Men line contained a veritable
avalanche of mediocrity shoved out there solely to milk the
franchise. Some pruning shears are urgently needed.
Exiles remains a great
example of this, as it continues to tread water by offering us
Chuck Austen fill-in stories. Why is it doing this?
Because even though Judd Winick wrote a year's worth of
scripts before going off to his DC exclusivity deal, Marvel
wanted to do eighteen issues. So we get six pointless
fill-ins of highly questionable quality. I don't object
to Marvel deluging the market with X-books when they're good,
but come on. This is taking the piss.
As with last month, what Austen
is giving us here is a sequel to his Uncanny X-Men plot
about werewolf mutants. That story was based on the
utterly bizarre premise that all mutants with vaguely
wolf-like powers were drawn to form a clan together, which
clan then inexplicably goes on to express its lupine qualities
by infiltrating Warren's company and engaging in a bit of
illegal arms dealing. Quite what that bit's got to do
with wolves, I have no clue, and I strongly suspect Austen
doesn't know either. Oh, and the wolves like to repeat
what people say to them. Because wolves do that, don't
they? Certainly you can't walk in a Scottish wood at
night without being haunted by the eerie cry of the Macaw
Wolf.
The core problems with this story
are twofold. One, it isn't an Exiles story. The
lead characters are reduced to standing around the edge
checking their nails while the X-Men get on with an X-Men
plot. Two, the wolves were a boring set of villains to
start with. The central concept doesn't make sense,
their agenda is nailed on for the sole purpose of generating
an artificial conflict with Warren, and they have no
personality whatsoever. They didn't merit a storyline in
the first place; they certainly don't merit a sequel.
In the previous issue, when Alex
woke up, his life-threatening injuries had healed completely.
This issue, in true Ed Wood style, they're back.
However, despite having a nasty gash across his lower stomach,
Alex blithely ignores it for the entire issue. Something
tells me that the editor spotted the problem in time to get
the art fixed, but it was too late to correct the story -
which would need a ground-up rethink to get round the problem.
But it's a basic, obvious problem. You have to wonder
how rubbish like this is making it into print in the first
place.
Then there's the wolves'
dialogue.
"Did I take you unaware,
'Wolverine'? Were you overconfident and surprised by
my speed and agility? Were you shocked to learn my
bones are strong enough to match up to your metal claws?
The natural bones of Homo-Superior? Nature adapting to
survive the 'new threat' of metal?"
Not only is this overblown, it's
nonsense. The "new threat" of metal? I know the US
news media isn't the best in the world, but surely word of the
Bronze Age must have reached Chuck Austen some time ago.
Meanwhile, Alex from the
Mutant X universe is a one-dimensional villain. That
interpretation of the character seems to be an extrapolation
from a brief flashback in Mutant X #24, but it bears no
relationship whatsoever to the character's behaviour in his
only significant previous appearance, Mutant X #1.
Nor is it an interesting change; he's a cackling melodrama
villain. Austen seems to have tremendous problems
writing believable villains, which is something of a shame
considering that they're a bit of a genre requirement.
Visually, it's alright if
unexceptional. But as a package, it's seriously below
par.
Rating: C-
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